The
title of my blog page is a hymn that the girls I live with sing to me
every day... Basically, they want me to be sure I know that the end
is coming- its over. HA! They get the famous McKenna death glare
every time. But they even get the better version of it- they get the
"Kim version" of the stare. You know, the one that says, "You´re
being a very bad little girl..." Yes, I know that look very well.
Yesterday
was my favorite sacrament meeting on the mission, I think. We brought
Manoel to church. And out of nowhere he gets up and goes to the front
to bear his testimony. WHAT??? That's right. He said, "When this
church was under construction, I told a man working here, someday I
will visit your church.. Years went by, and then this little girl
(pointing to me) stopped by on the road, inviting me to visit. I
accepted, and last Sunday I came. Today I am here again. THIS is
Christ's church. Since last Sunday until now, I have felt good,
happy, I have felt peace. And I want to be baptized. I am GOING to be
baptized, today."
He
was the last to bear his testimony, and there was a remarkable spirit
in the room. And, he was baptized yesterday. I wish I could show you
the photo- because its worthy of being send to the Liahona. I never
saw anyone happier to be baptized- it will be the first pic I put up
on the blog when I get home. Don't even worry. :)
It
was a good week. Its hard to end a mission- your emotions tug you in
every which direction. I literally feel like a part of me is
``dying`` (as we say here on the mission when it all ends). Its
bittersweet- its the closest thing to bitter-sweet that I have ever
known.
I
can't even count how many "final testimonies" I have been asked to
give in the last month. So here, goes, my last testimony written
home:
I
would be more quick to doubt discoveries in space, proven concepts on
earth, details my eyes can see, or objects cuddled in my hand than I
would be to doubt the reality of the existence of the living God. He
is our God and our Creator, but I prefer to think of Him as my
Father....
I
am eternally grateful for a loving Savior who took my hand in the
longest days, and held me through the darkest nights. It was always
on my knees when I felt strongest.. and His warm embrace never let my
heart go cold.
I
am in awe of God´s plan that is perfect, even when its hard to
accept and recognize that every challenge I faced in these last 18
months and these last 21 years was exactly what I needed to prove
that faith means believing when its hard, when it doesn't make sense,
and when it hurts.
I
am amazed at God´s Grace and mercy and know that the Savior´s role
on earth was not merely to save us, but to redeem us- to make us
better, to lift us and to help us be strong. "Strength is not
something we have, its something God helps us find."
To
those who doubt if a mission is "worth your time" I testify with
every fiber of my being, and from the depth of my soul that it was
ALL I ever did that was "worth my time"... I don't recommend
a mission for those who care to try or those who think "well
maybe". I invite every one of you within the sound of my voice and
with the capacity (and given age) to do so: Do it. You will never
find joy greater than this and there is nothing on earth you can do
that will be better for your life.
And
so I plead with a few of you... and you know who you are... DON'T
give up. Don't waste time. Don't think you know what is best or right
or wrong or easy or whatever. Know that your Savior loves you. And if
you don't know that yet, I plead with you to do your part to figure
that out- and that knowledge only comes if we pray, are faithful, and
are obedient.
To
my Katie- I am so incredibly proud of you. You have no idea how much
you have helped me to be strong and the motivation you were for me.
You always were and forever will be my best friend. I love you. Thank
you for being the missionary you are- keep strong and one day we will
be like Alma and the sons of Mosiah after 14 years of missionary
service. Oh, how that reunion will be sweet.
To
my Skylar- I LOVE YOU more than you will ever know. Look to be an
example and you will always be happy. Always be the angel that God
sent you to us to be. You teach everyone how to serve and how to
love, and I am forever grateful for your example and the peace and
comfort you are in our lives.
To
Log-pog- My sweet teddy-bear, always do what is right and in doing
what is right you will see just how strong you really are. Be the
protector you are to Skylar, the helper your are to mom, the buddy
you are to the boys and Dad, and the miracle you are to me. You are
one of my Heroes.
To
Conner- You don't even understand the potential that you have- you
will never find a ``limit`` in your life so long as you are obedient
and faithful. Be strong. Surround yourself with those who love and
serve the Lord and you will find the capacity to be that faithful
servant of the Lord, capable of changing lives and moving mountains.
NEVER GIVE UP on your dream to serve a mission, because you will be
one of the most incredible missionaries this world has ever known.
You are one of the greatest examples I have, thank you.
To
Michael... I just want to say I love you. I pray for you always- you
never left my prayers, and will always have your special place in my
heart. I wish you knew that... I hope you know that. I wish I could
give you the conviction I have. I wish I could make you know and
understand the truth that I love. I don't think you know how gifted
and talented and special you are- but I see you that way. Your family
sees you that way, and our Savior sees you that way. Always remember
that this world has nothing to offer us... In all reality, in the
end, the only thing the world offers is death, in one way or another.
Look to the savior and you will find eternal life and eternal joy. A
joy that is actually real, and its all of the happiness you deserve.
Questions and doubts come to all of us- but I always knew you were
strong enough to overcome them all. Never give up on the destiny God
created for you. You deserve all the happiness and blessings in the
world- its all we ever wanted or will ever want for you.
To
my father- Thank you for being the priesthood leader in our home that
we needed. For all your advice, your love, and the laughs. Thank you
for worrying about us- working for us and doing everything in your
power to be sure we always had what we needed. You gave all you could
give, and still do so. You are one of the hardest- workers I know.
Don't change. I love you and am grateful to be your little girl.
To
my mother- The woman I call my best friend. (Don't worry, Kate, I am
not forgetting about you). You, along with the Savior, are the one I
felt at my side in every moment on my mission. You are the one I most
prayed for and the motivation I always had to be strong and to work
hard- to be a fighter when I felt like a failure and to be the
example when I wanted to break down. I will forever be grateful for
you and the mother you have always been. I will probably never have
the words I need to express that to you... but one day, probably in
the next life, I will make you understand. Know that I am by your
side- always. That will NEVER change.
The
greatest lesson I learned here was a lesson of love. I learned to
love the people, to love my companions, to love my leaders, to love
my family, and to love my Savior. I learned what it is we do when we
truly love someone...love always means patience and it always means
forgiveness. Love means service and sacrifice and it means we never
ever ever give up.
And
for all of this that I learned, Ilearned to love my mission- I never
dreamed my mission would be what it was, but I wouldn't change a
moment of it, for me, even though I was never a perfect missionary,
my mission was a perfect mission, the perfect gift God gave me FOR
me- to change ME.
Thank
you all so much for who you are. For your love and your support these
1.5 years. I will never be able to thank you enough. And for those of
you who wrote weekly.. you know who you are.. just know that I
noticed, and I never took it for granted... ever letter was
cherished.
All
I can say, is God be with you till we meet again, in 11 days time...
And....
I´ll see you soon.
Love,
Sister
McKenna Kimberly Seal
Missão
Brasil João Pessoa para toda a eternidade